I’ve been in a mood the past few days….bitchy, annoyed, depressed, agitated
I think it has a lot to do with the fact that I have not done anything with anyone this entire holiday time or whatever you want to call it. I dont really count going out with the roommates on New Years because that I think was more out of pity that I was going to go out by myself. The few things that I have done have been more errand type things and I have not really done anything fun. I find I am starting to do nothing in my free time, either playing on the computer or watching television. It does not help that it has been raining a lot as well. I also still have no friends to do anything with. I think the whole Jason think is a bust, we never do anything together and our online conversations are becoming scarce and when we do chat it is very brief. Paul was very short lived, which I figured would be the case anyway.
I go through this kind of funk at least once a year it seems this time is hard as I have no one around. It is funny how it will just hit me and then I will all of a sudden just snap out of it. I am ready for it to end so I can start doing things again.
Making friends being gay is very hard, because it is hard to make friends without first looking at someone as if they could be a potential relationship even if that is not what you are looking for, unless that person is “unavailable”. Maybe I am just too picky…..
Sometimes I wish I would not have met Michael and Chris before moving out here and it would have been all on my own, as far as finding a place to live and such. It is not that we dont get along, but it is more that we live with one another and that is it. I dont really have much in common with the two of them. I feel as if I would have done the whole find a room and meet the roommates I would be in a different situation right now. I have started to really like the place I am living in even though I am sure there is better out there, I will probably stay when the lease is up in August, Im guessing both Michael and Chris will want to find a better place, which leaves me having to try to find two new roommates which kind of excites and scares me at the same time.
Anyway, not sure why I went off on that….Im just ready to be in a better mood again.